Crow's Scratches

vive le Lithium Picnic!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:23:55 GMT

5...4...3...2...1...

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:37:28 GMT

she kissed us both... Alisson still hates me... my balls still haven't come down out of my torso...

"i thought you said this was going to be a rave!" i yelled over the pounding of the gigantic speakers. all around us, the sight of people younger than myself, and maybe too young to be drinking or smoking whatever it is they're smoking. and the dancing... well that's just something else. she said it was going to be a rave to ring in the new year, with friends. as usual, Wren says one thing about a place and when you get there it turns out to be something else. most of the time, it turns out to be a pretty good something else, so i'll reserve judgement for now.

"i didn't think it was going to get hijacked! but how can you complain? open your eyes, man! you'll be glad i got you to leave the house this time!" Wren replied, bouncing her way towards the crowd. a palm's grip, knuckles, finger-tips... she's gone... adrift in a sea of haze and warm bodies and pulsating lights harsh enough to trigger seizures in the most healthy of individuals. we can't get separated... this isn't going to be like the last time. i try to follow the wildly swinging unbraided pony tail as it rhythmically pops over the head of the crowd and disappears again. useless excuse me's and pardon me's... the music is too loud for it to make any difference. one person actually told me the portable toilets are behind the DJ's perch; another replied with a mildly slurred 'we all feelin' free'. she's stopped and i'm close enough to get a hold of her so i shoot out my hand to grab her arm and catch Alisson instead.

"what the fuck is he doing here?" she questions Wren. she's not at all pleased with my presence and doesn't even try to hide it.
"you're both in my life now and i don't plan on severing old ties simply because you can't stand each other," Wren replies.
"oh, i don't hate her, you know. i've got no problem with her; she's the one hating on me," i chime, pointing at Alisson with double-barreled fingers. Alisson responds by blowing cigarette smoke in my face while stepping real close to stare me down. she's ready to throwdown but i'd rather chill. i don't want to ring in the new year with a fresh set of bruises. Alie may be petit but her soft form hides some serious muscle, and i know first hand just how effective kung-fu is in the arsenal of a jealous ex-girlfriend.

"okay okay," Wren interrupts. "why don't i just fetch us something to drink?" she scans both our faces for a response, rolls her eyes and sighs exasperatedly while disappearing into the crowd again.
"you're only a phase for her, you know that. she'll never really leave me," Alisson threatens, taking a drag of her cigarette. "she still calls me at night. we still talk for hours. we have an 'established' rapport. you can't break that bond," she continued.
"i know she won't. she explained the whole thing to me last week. i have no intention of getting in between you two. i'd be a hypocrite and it wouldn't be in her nature to do that to you. she's too loyal, even though you can be a damn psycho about it," i explain. she freezes in mid-motion, bringing the cigarette only halfway to her mouth. confusion and disbelief 'graffiti'd' all over her face.
"is this some kind of trick? are you trying to jedi mind-trick me or something? i swear i'll fucking cut you," she responds dropping her cigarette to the ground while with the other hand simultaneously reaching into her back pocket...

"drinks iz herre!" Wren chimes just in time. Alisson stops and feigns a smile while still staring me down in the corner of her eye. "i got you a cranberry something-or-the-other. there might be alcohol in it but not too much to annoy you. sowwy," she continued.
"cranberry? what are you on your period or something?" Alisson wryly yells, as if to get the attention of as many people as possible. it wasn't the music... she looked around for eyes but no one could have cared what was going on in our little pocket of the crowd, they were just having too much fun for any of our drama to matter.
"i don't really drink, so..." i respond. she gets that confused look again and takes a swig of her... i don't know what the hell she's drinking. it's green, but beyond that i'm clueless. must be her favorite drink because she gives Wren an approving look after her first swallow.
"you remembered! you remembered!" Alisson squeals. she brushes her hand along the length of Wren's shoulder, just to get to me.
"how could i forget!" Wren replies and the two break out into a cute little song and dance, possibly recalling the event where that green drink originated. i can only assume.

"so what's been going on since i left. you two looked pretty serious. am i going to have to referee again?" Wren jokes. her smile quickly dissipates when she sees Alisson's expression. "oh come on!! look, if you two can't make nice i'm going to have to make new 'friends' and drop you both. you're seriously damaging my aura with your constant hostility towards each other, and keeping me from getting effectively stoned," Wren complained. perhaps she does actually care to keep both of us in her 'circle'. at some point Alie and i are going to have to bury the hatchet.

"alright everybody! it's about that time!" the DJ shouts out over a bull-horn. all three of us glance down at our time-pieces... Alisson checks her watch, i check my phone and Wren consults her pocket-watch. minutes to midnight. "let's do this!" the DJ exclaims while switching to a driving drum beat seemingly aimed at building tension. "10... 9..." he starts...

"8..." the crowd joins in.
"7..." Wren joins in. both Alisson and i just feel to ourselves she's going to kiss the closest one of us when 'the ball drops'.
"6..." pushing and shoving ensues as we try to get closer to her.
"5..." i try to restrain her hands...
"4..." she grunts and knees me in the crotch. i keel over for a moment...
"3..." well i thought it would be a moment but DAMN! THAT REALLY HURT! i thought it was only painful in the movies, but she must have gotten her knee all the way into my stomach.
"2..." she turns her back on me and quickly fixes her hair. she drapes her arm around Wren's shoulder and joins in with her at the last second...
"1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" everyone erupts. the crowd throws their empty cups and confetti into the air and the music changes to a techno-inspired 'Auld Lang Syne'.

as expected Wren turns to Alisson and plants a long drawn out kiss on her lips. fireworks going off in the background, it looked like Alisson won. was there tongue in there? Alisson flips me 'the bird' while they're doing it. she's working extra-hard to get on my nerves. i totally missed the boat. they break, Wren turns and sees me rising to my feet and plants a long drawn out kiss on my lips. yep, there was totally tongue. i return Alisson the favour of a one fingered salute times 2 as i flip both fingers in her direction. she grabs her crotch and mouths 'eat me'.

she kissed us both... Alisson still hates me... my balls still haven't come down out of my torso...

this year is going to be even more interesting...

the salty air - WIP...

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 21:51:52 GMT

spoon.

that's how this one starts... spooning this gorgeous olive-skinned beauty, my left arm pinned under her slender neck. an ornate glyph-like tattoo on the back of her neck (a bridal tattoo?)... i'm facing the back of her head and she's fast asleep, tired from an exciting night out. the details are fuzzy (was i drunk?) but i know i had fun too. that ache in my crotch... yeah, i definitely had fun. my stomach grumbles and i'm inspired to leave the bed and fix some grub. my arm is completely asleep too; i can move my fingers but i can't quite feel them. i slip my arm from under her, careful not to wake her, while simultaneously easing my pillow to take its place.

finally free, i roll out of the bed and stretch; there's a warm golden light pouring through an enormous ceiling to floor sliding glass door. beyond the wooden deck and railing past it, a vast expanse of water. the sun reflects harshly off the surface and hurts my eyes, but it's hard to turn away from the spectacle. then it hits me: this isn't the rising sun, this sun is setting! have we been asleep the entire day? massaging the blood back into my arm i walk out the door and breathe in deep... salty air fills my lungs. this isn't my place; i couldn't afford a house like this. it seems as though the house is actually in the middle of the ocean. what a ridiculous thought. a house in the middle of the ocean... houses don't sit motionless on water...

i step back inside and take another look at her: long, straight, black hair, thick eyebrows and dark skin. she seems to glow a glorious golden colour in the evening sun. full lips just slightly parted, i can barely make out her front teeth. tracing her length with my eyes, i follow her form down. sleeveless white vest. she doesn't wear a bra and i can make out the details of her bosom through the fabric. she's not terribly stacked. her breasts are modest. she has strange crisscrossed glyphs tattooed on her upper arms, and silver and gold rings on her fingers. i check for the most important one... a naked finger... i sigh with relief inside my head. her mid-section is covered by the bed sheets, but not too much for me to notice she's wearing white cotton boyshorts... they enhance the appearance of her stem-like legs. tiny toes (very edible) 'decorated' with silver rings complete the tour of her form. what's this goddess's name? something with a N, or L... or maybe an A... i can't remember. maybe i should find a wallet so i kno..... my stomach grumbles again... i'll play detective later.

there's a door to my right and i head for it on tip-toes... i step out of the bedroom into a very dark hallway. it seems that all that light in the room came from the open door. light at the end of the 'tunnel'... i follow with my arms akimbo. the wall feels textured, but i can't quite make out the details. it feels like papyrus or something similar... on the way i meet a door on my right. i fish for a handle and try it. it opens to a bathroom with a toilet and bidet. it's all porcelain-like. the room is clinically white but at the same time very inviting. stepping in further i notice that golden glow again to my right. the bathroom is connected to the bedroom. i peer in to see her still asleep. she's barely moved a muscle. must have indeed been a great night. i relieve myself, wash up and head out again, continuing down the corridor towards the source of the light.

the kitchen, finally. i stumble while entering the sunken room. more white walls and porcelain accents. she has all her pots hanging overhead. counter-top stove, dishwasher (is she lazy?), tall but skinny refrigerator... i head to that first. let's see here: chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chèvre cheese, liverwurst, yogurt, foreign beer, sauvignon blanc (remember for later), something that looks like game hen, wine with a name probably no one can pronounce, and a door littered with jars of random condiments. this girl has expensive taste. hmm, creamed honey. i could do something with that. grab the heavy cream for tea, maybe the palm sugar. i dump them on the counter and examine the counters. a loaf of bread, a healthy looking orange, a lemon to wedge for the tea, a jar of ground coffee... guess the tea plan is off... ah! tea. Yellow Label, she's into classics. alright, let's get this going.

Spaces Communications Issues

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 22:43:43 GMT

i've recently received several messages from various people trying to chat with me. unfortunately, i haven't been able to respond due to some communication preference that i receive error messages about. i'm sorry that i haven't responded.

So now I'll attempt to answer some of these messages:

d.L, i'm still learning the language. while my vocabulary is improving, i'm in no position to presume to educate anyone on the formalities and associated syntax regarding Nihon-go. however, should you know any links to language resources, feel free (no, encouraged) to send them along. maybe you could teach me a couple rules about arabic. i think it's a show of respect when you properly pronounce names and words from "foreign languages".

no, Joey, i'm not a rapist.

Kate, that's a lot of personal information to give out to a complete stranger especially considering you're 11 years old. luckily (and thanks to Joey for asking), i'm not a rapist. in future, exercise caution in the dissemination of personal information. there are people out there who could take advantage of you, and you never know if the people at "To Catch A Predator" are looking out for you. let's hope they are.

happymushroom, i'd like to make friends. why don't you add me to messenger or something?

the mechanics of romance?

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:40:41 GMT

i can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to define the act of intercourse as "making love". i find it to be quite a retarded way of thinking. the linking of one's emotional state with a physical activity is strange at best, though not exclusively incorrect.

i enjoy hugs. i'd go as far as to say that hugs ROCK! i'm not sure how many people ever noticed it, but everytime i hug someone, anyone, regardless of gender, i close my eyes and soak it in. automatically. it's my vice, if one can call hugging a vice. i take them every chance i get. just ask Ana-Lucia how annoying my need to maul her for hugs is. she always tries to flee but i get my squeeze-time in. always.

it may sound creepy to you but i just really love hugging. i love it more than kissing and 'making-out' (what is making-out really?), and hugging often gets more points than say having sex. squeeze me while you're hugging me, and i'll be trying to find all means of getting back in your arms.

which brings me to the topic at hand, sex and romance. many people can tell you all sorts of things on the subject of romance and what romance entails, and what constitutes being romantic or a romantic. many people will also tell you that romance has absolutely nothing to do with sex, and that the two are mutually exclusive.

[rant]
i honestly don't see what the problem is here, and why the two do in fact have to be separate activities. why can't i be romantic with my face between her legs, or why can't a woman be romantic with a cock in her mouth? are handjobs not romantic? how about fisting? can't one be romantic while defiling their lover and talking dirty in the bedroom? and who's to say that a hardcore alley-fuck creampie isn't the most romantic thing on the planet?

and on that subject, sex in my book really isn't the same as fucking. sex is that thing that married people do once a week, usually on Fridays. you schedule time to make it happen and you usually have to butter-up your spouse with food and alcoholic beverages to make it happen. it's the reason wine coolers were invented i believe, as i am yet to hear of any unmarried woman claim to enjoy the occasional wine cooler the way one may enjoy the occasional scotch or glass of brandy or even a beer. in this context, they aren't really "making love", the husband wants to "bust a nut" and the wife figures if she doesn't facilitate she'd be deemed a bad wife. if the reverse ever happens, the wife has and itch and the husband is always glad to scratch it, mainly because he's a man. pathetic.

fucking, however, is that thing you do when you just want to get off; fucking is when you pretty much find the nearest warm body to act as substitute for your fingers/hand/fist/sex-toy/etc. the saying does go "Mom I'd Love to Fuck" and not "Mom I'd Love to Have Sex With".
[/rant]

but i digress. the true purpose of the question mark in the subject of this entry is the fact that people seem to think that you need to be in love to have sex, and that the purpose of romance is to make someone fall in love with you. after re-analyzing the act of sexual intercourse, i'm still confused as to why anyone would find it remotely romantic. honestly now, achieving and erection so you can shove-n-retract it repeatedly until orgasm... please point out the part where your emotions come into play. i know right now you're thinking that orgasm is supposed to be a deeply emotional experience but so should be peeing or making poop, not 'making woopie'.

[EDIT]
hey. so after thinking about this a little more, i think that "making love" is in fact some activity that people the world over have for some reason associated with the act of sexual intercourse, which i still believe is just plain fucking (regardless of one's emotional connection with the other).

perhaps the connection was made back when sexual intercourse was still considered a deeply personal activity that required a level of intimacy for it to actually happen. i believe that whatever this 'activity' is, one can most likely 'make love' without having sexual relations of any kind. i could be as simple as a tender touch or maybe the sweet nothings couples exchange.

don't beat yourself up over it. like the quote above says, don't expect love to enhance sex. it may seem like a bonus to some but in the end, it's just a physical activity, with foreplay being pretty much fluffing your partner.

it just seems to me to be a very irresponsible practice to program people into thinking that sex is enhanced somehow by love or the state of being in love. it's like telling little children that Santa Claus is real, or the tooth fairy is coming to give you coin for teeth.
[/EDIT]

so you think you're getting what you're paying for?

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 21:32:54 GMT

i'm supposed to be getting service up to 2Mbps...

what about that ping? geez!

rant about Apple and Leopard delays conveniently masked as 'resource re-assignment for iPhone development' rather than just saying that Leopard will be delayed. psh!

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:00:37 GMT

see this link for the article that inspired this blog entry.

the thing about Apple delaying Leopard is that you don't know if anything has been dropped because Apple never said from the outset what they wanted to include in Leopard.

MS on the other hand came out with spec-sheet after spec-sheet of features that they wanted to include in Longhorn, but then ended up dropping features because of the complexity of what they were originally trying to undertake.

and on the subject of 'dropped features', what the hell ever happened to Kerry Hammil? did she quit? did she get fired? did she have extensive plastic surgery and become super-hot Jenny Lam?

i still have the print outs of TechNet articles elaborating on things that made me all hot and bothered like Notification History, the original Sidebar (where we used tiles a la MSN Explorer), the original Longhorn Explorer (with the gigantic window title that i really loved, and actually seemed heavily influenced by the design of the SAP GUI) and what can only be described as the Longhorn Photo Gallery. btw, have you ever seen the WinFS presentation video with the Fabrikam proposal thingee showing digital signatures in action and how they related to communications and general trust for files and documents from any given contact? priceless.

the point i'm making here is it's easy for you to think that Leopard is being delayed "only 120 days" and "it's not as if Apple is dropping any features at the same time" because you honestly don't know what was supposed to be there and you don't know IF anything HAS been dropped. you must admit, Apple being secretive about project details allows them to drop or include features at a whim and not take flak from the press and public for it (the way MS did with the Longhorn 'Reset').

Safari on Windows

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:16:21 GMT

the first thing to happen when i install the thing, it crashes Firefox
(i still can't figure out how).

and this thing is a typical apple application: rather than using the
existing framework, they try to re-invent the wheel. as soon as the
thing opens, it prompts me for my domain password (i tested this on a pc
on work). every other browser on the planet "just works" with domain
authentication, apple brings their keychain madness with them.

they also brought along their own font smoothing engine. everybody else
can use cleartype and dodge the overhead, but not Apple.

sheets? i hope this is a place holder for an actual dialog. if i wanted
swishing dialogs, i'd stick to the mac (where i don't even use Safari
anyway).

Safari on Windows is pretty much that, Safari on Windows. a straight-up
port, right down to the Mac OS technologies they felt we needed (Windows
is keyboard accessible by design; we didn't need you to not make your
app. conform and then pretend to offer me the ability to tab between
links and fields).

take this one off the website, Apple. this one just ain't ready for
primetime.

---

who am i...

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 12:48:27 GMT

So today, I was told (for the first time in my recollection) that my personality very much closely resembles that of Kathy Griffin.

A redhead.

Go figure…

MS makin meh krazie!

Thu, 10 May 2007 13:43:20 GMT

Honestly what the hell is keeping Microsoft from merging the Xbox Live
Marketplace and the Zune Marketplace? They're already using the same
currency and with the advent of Windows Live Gaming, I just can't wait
to have that functionality on my PC!!

Seriously just a few paychecks away from blowing cash on a Xbox 360
Elite. If only I had a HDMI port on my TV...

---

can it really be that hard to just pickup drawing again?

Tue, 08 May 2007 15:46:01 GMT

confession? that graphics tablet came a long time ago, maybe a month and some change. i haven't actually plugged the damn thing in yet, and i'm not even sure why. is depression catching up with me again? bah! impossible! what could i possibly still be depressed about? i've got that 24" monitor now and am currently 3 components away from my latest beast of a SOHO desktop - BlackPony_Drei!

so anyhoo, the poui thing doesn't seem to be kicking off as quickly as i thought it would've, mainly because the trees haven't really started their blooming and shedding. all the better as i have more time to find models for this lil project. classifieds? how do you find models in your area? what would you even put in that ad? and how will i ever find the time to interview them when these people keep extending my contract at work?

please don't read the above as complaining (even though it is) as i'm actually very glad to be employed and making money to support my various non-habits, which lately include tv series on dvd and MET-Art photoshoots.

i'm obsessed with photographers Pasha and Voronin and a few models like Viky B. and the uber-popular Jenya D.. so much so that i actually plan (many moons ago actually) to use their varied poses as "stencils" for drawing projects or photoshoot composition sketches. they also make for great photography encouragement when you see a series like Elan featuring the model Nella and want to get that high contrast type look in your photos. the photographers at MET-Art really are my photography heroes and i'm not saying that just because they get to shoot hot chicks all the time. they're accomplished photographers and i wish i could afford the cameras they use to do their work (which you can easily find out by peeking at the metadata.

btw, Canon EOS series and Nikon's D series are the digital cameras of choice at MET-Art. certainly influenced my decision but unfortunately can't sway my pocket. okay okay, not true. the CC limit is currently 720 so i can't get any of those brand new but also refuse to get any of those second-hand. if there's anyone out there willing to hook a brotha up with a sugar-momma or something...

in other news: i've been moved back to the HelpDesk! not horrible but i feel really listless as i'm used to running from one place to the next. my legs feel funny being cramped under this midget desk. how ever did that Thomas kid manage here? i'm also stuck with WinXP. it's awkward being away from Vista as we were testing it in the office (i was doing the 64-bit version) and i miss the plasma that i had to live with next to me. you haven't watched Heroes until you've done it on a 42" Plasma, yo!

i miss the daily coffee run, and Ana-Lucia's smell, as if her leaving wasn't bad enough, they moved me too. :'(

so until i get my hands on a new camera or at least get my photographic zeal back....

---

"thoughts on Akon" - responsoriovm

Tue, 01 May 2007 10:46:58 GMT

i will admit to you brother, that i am one of the many who would accept this as the norm simply because it is.

this Danah chiqui (besides being a total jailbait-hottie) is beyond all intents and purposes for this article and my reply a grown woman both physically and mentally. we keep forgetting that in today's world, age is really just a number and that mental development is often fast-tracked by societal behaviour at the expense the far too pliable young minds. i believe i am probably best evidence of that (i won't go into much detail here though).

we can blame Soong, we can blame Akon, we can blame the parents. we can even blame Danah, but in all this passing of blame, i really don't think Danah needed to be vilified for sneaking out using a special-needs excuse and most likely a James Bond-esque method for changing outfits just to go "covertly" to a concert. in my eyes, she knew exactly what she was doing when she was doing it, and was not coerced into going clubbing with her friends. she would not have acted alone and surely wasn't the only one reprimanded for events as they unfolded.

instead, i really believe (feel free to flame) that Danah knew she was legally underaged during "mission prep" and knew she'd still get into Zen during "target prosecution" and probably even hoped for what turned out to be "non-critical side objective fulfillment". if you didn't read between the lines of all that millitary speak then let me draw them out for you.

Danah planned to go to this concert possibly ages ago. she got the perfect outfit. she had the perfect cover story and banked on the fact that club doormen realize that not everyone walks with ID when they go clubbing, except when they look her age and even then with above selected outfit, cleavage just may handle the issue sufficiently. i mean even with today's precocious puberty, what 14-year old looks like that? you can't really tell me otherwise. the main objective was to attend the concert but i don't think it was ever intended to get dry-humped on stage within view of all the club's patrons. non-critical but who was she to complain. she already got this far.

she would have probably been singing a different tune (read bragging) to all her friends because she got up close and personal with Akon, but unfortunately for her, she got busted on YouTube and then most likely by her friends when they identified the girl on stage as Danah. it didn't help that there were 10,000 cameras shooting the "event" at multiple angles to broadcast her face and her outfit (and unfortunately a nipple-slip) over the Internet. her perfect mission comet-smashed and obliterated literally "at the speed of light" or maybe just the speed of fibre-optics (which is probably just about the same speed).

i hope people don't read me wrong here, but Danah is fully responsible for her actions if only because they were pre-meditated. i don't believe that she should be vilified for "acting her age".

honestly, how many of us have done similar and worse growing up and gotten away with it. i'm sure if the Internet and access to it were as prevalent as it is today, we too would've been caught at a Shabba concert or our Richard Marx "woulda buss easy".

i'm - help make a difference

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 23:49:33 GMT

my official stance on the soulmate thingee...

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 00:09:21 GMT

"i know there's someone out there for me, i just don't think she's hanging at the places i hang. she's probably been temporarily distracted by some other guy/girl who she presently thinks is 'the one'.

i just wish she'd hurry up already. i haven't seen her or met her yet but i know she's out there. for now, i'll just have to keep playin the field till we meet up on the same playground.

i know it sounds kinda foolish, and maybe hopeless romantic-like, but i do believe there's someone out there for each of us, and we just haven't had the fortune of meeting up with them just yet. everyone we end up with before meeting our 'other halves' are preparation for the ultimate union orchestrated by wiser and much more benevolent individuals than ourselves."

so my one and only honey-bunches-of-oats, if you're out there and you think i'm your 'other-you', drop me a line and let's quit fooling ourselves. we both know we belong together so let's make it happen. i'm getting tired of waiting for you, hun.

but since what we have will be nothing short of epic, i'm contented to wait just a lil bit longer for you to grace me with your ever-present presence...

my hormones have condemned me...

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 12:13:22 GMT

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Low
Lust:	Very High
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

why does The Game get harder the older you get?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:31:21 GMT

having failed with the only available older women in my life, i decide to set my sights on women my age (go figure) and see just what the scene is like on this end of the spectrum. the first choice would have to be who Ana-Lucia describes as my girlfriend, Rommie.

admittedly, i was quite smitten with the girl. and why shouldn't i be, she's gorgeous, short, growing her hair (which is maybe a few inches from Botticelli-esque right now), has beautiful eyes and a figure to die for, even though she thinks she needs to work on it.

we may have even been in the midst of an actual relationship by now if i weren't so much of a sissy (thanks a lot aforementioned ladies) and afraid of rejection. we were at the point where i'd call her up and we'd spend hours on the phone sharing our lives; it felt nice being able to do that with someone you didn't have to see everyday. she was my ground, i enjoyed the chats we had and i hope we can have more in the future. so why haven't i try to get with her yet? maybe it is my fear of rejection, maybe i'm afraid of loosing my newest means of maintaining my remaining sanity in this hectic role of Network Technician.

am i really questioning my feelings for Rommie? is it infatuation or is it love?

so during that recent period of trying to figure out my true feelings for Rommie, i get broad-sided at my second favorite place to be, Coffeeland. for the record, i blame Ana-Lucia for getting me hooked on ice-blended coffee drinks. anyhoo, i go there one day to get what i guess was a 'Spiced Chai Latte on ice' and one of the girls there, Cherry-Olivia - a real cutie - comes with this:
"so i have two tickets for the circus. you want to go?" given my history with women, i assume she's just trying to get rid of some tickets so i reply:
"Cherry-Olivia, are you asking me out on a date?"
she goes silent and stares at me; i stare at her. Maria (another Coffeeland girl) breaks the corner and i say:
"Maria, i think Cherry-Olivia just asked me out on a date!"
she laughs with a really-buried-in-there-somewhere "Really?"; in hindsight, i figure it must have been really hard to watch, let alone be part of.

Ana-Lucia and Emma-Lisa berate me when i relate the event to them and Dirty Ole Man (who we'll just call Dirty). the whole ride back to the office, i'm told in varying degrees just how much of an asshole i am for humiliating a girl who obviously had to muster up enough courage to ask a question like that. i reply that i was joking and that i think she was really just trying to get rid of some tickets. nevertheless, the scolding continues.

so in an effort to avoid further ribbing, i decide i'll carry this chiqui to the circus. i go to Coffeeland and leave my number with Maria because Cherry-Olivia wasn't working that day. the phone call takes a while in coming and when it does it's rather mundane. it's okay, because all we have to do is set a date for the um... date! the same day as the phone call i give her a ride to work because the taxi she came to Bella in dropped her too short. during the really short trip from TECU to the Coffeeland, i learn that she's got a dirty mouth (which i kinda like) but was unwilling to play the FFF mind game. the first time-alone period not bad.

after dropping her off, i'm bombarded by a stream of SMSeseses in a convo that runs into maybe 20 text messages. there is peace in Coffeeland.

the next week while i'm there getting an Amaretto on ice (a drink they seem to make only for me), Rosa (yet another Coffeeland girl) seems upset by the whole thing with Cherry-Olivia and we talk about it when Rommie calls. she came for me to check out her laptop and i make a crack to Rosa about Rommie being my wife. her jaw drops and i go over to greet Rommie (who was calling me from just outside the Mall). we exchange pleasantries and she, Ana-Lucia and i gather gear and hop into the van.
"this is going to be an interesting trip" i remark; both girls reply with wry smiles.

we go back to my office where we watch Talagdega Nights during lunch; Rommie seems hungry but doesn't want to get anything to eat. i multi-task between her, her laptop, the movie, my food... she looks adorably hot with her hair growing out and her tank top and jeans. she wore slippers, her piggies well 'pedied'. the least dressed in the room and she doesn't feel cold, she says.

so after lunch is over, i carry her to the Mall for something to eat. we park in front and i suggest she goes in to choose what she wants while i head over to the fast service to pull some cash from my emergency card, but we end up making the trip together. she gets the usual ogling from random guys and we joke about it. at the atm we discover that i'm completely broke and my folks have my regular bank card (don't ask why) so we head back to the van to leave; we never enter the Mall, but our 'visit' was noticed by who i assumed was Rosa and she relates Rommie's "relationship" to one of the other Coffeeland girls. i give Rommie a ride to her taxi-stand and me make plans to hang for Carnival this year...

all of a sudden i'm the hot topic in Coffeeland, or so i assume by the instant silence that falls on the kiosk upon my arrival. you know, those uncomfortable silences....

.:to.be.continued:.

you can't win 'em all... hell you can't win any!

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 23:24:57 GMT

anyone who knows me can tell you i seem to have somewhat of a penchat for older women... not grannies you freeek, just women older than myself. i have limits though, yeah no woman over 45. i broke that once and it wasn't all bad, it's just the wrinkle factor (which seems to vary depending on ethnicity) gets a little :x after 45 (sue me, i'm shallow).

so there are these two older chics from work that i really dig and they both shoot me down for different reasons, or the same reason. i'm just not sure (still)...

one chic, who will be refered to here as Ana-Rita (clever, right?) "claims" she's nearing her 30s but i really can't tell. who am i to argue with her about that tidbit, eh? so anyway Ana Rita tells me she never goes with guys younger than she is, citing that men below a certain number aren't mature enough for her. damn Ana-Rita, if all the other older women (older than yourself btw) had no problem with my age...

so in a late night (i think) conversation about this very crippling component on her "features form", i tell her she should really loosen-up on that whole age limit thing, and that there are alot of younger men who aren't complete dogs and won't hurt her in some irreparable way to warrant spending her end of days in counselling or something dark like that. she says she's through having fun and is searching for her soulmate, but i remind her that people have all sorts of hangups and they shouldn't let them become that level of a limiting factor, they're likely to die alone with the <insert house-pet here> chewing on their faces and having a passerby/nosy-neighbour discovering their partially-decayed/mutilated corpse.

i probably came across like a real asshole there, but that's gospel, dammit! Ana-Rita, babe, the dude with the glasses i saw you with in the food mall that day looked hella younger than you and her was trying to work some serious mojo on you; despite the fact that this 'guy' seemed to have milk dripping from his lips (figuratively speaking, of course) illustrates to me that you were probably trying to spare my feelings by avoiding saying you just weren't interested in me. in future dear, just spell it out; i get enough mixed messages from women my age, and i never expected to get it from someone as "mature" as yourself.

the other chic, who will be refered to here as Celine (yeah, it's pretty transparent) is older than myself by a couple years, maybe she's 27 or 28... she laughs at almost everything that flies out of my mouth half the time - and i can't blame her because sometimes i'm actually funny - but lately it's been working against me.

so sometime last year we decided to double-team Denise D. and she said we'd make a cute couple, which i happened to think too. so after we leave DD satisfied with a fully functional printer, we head back to the car and i start like: "gosh, Celine... could you picture us growing old together, and having kids..." and no sooner than those words leave my mouth than she starts to belt out a Celine-Special. milk may have very well flown out of her nose, and while it's really cute that i could make her do that, it hurt because i was being serious at the time. i tell her this but she just says she's sorry (mid giggle btw) and tries to reassure me. golly, am i so funny to her that i invoke the aura of constant comedy?

several times after this i try to tell her about my interests and the laughing resumes. it's come to the point that i figure that the laughing is merely a diversionary tactic to keep from answering the question, and Celine baby, it's working. so i've given up on tryin to win her affections. it's never going to happen and i figure that it's because secretly she doesn't think i'm old enough. no biggie. we could proabably end up together and i kill both of us coming back from some party and she lets out another Celine-Special and looses control of the can, bringing us squarely in line with a flimsy aluminium barrier and a georgeous expanse of open-air... here's to hoping otherwise...

Remembering Utakz: 1987 - 2007

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:19:15 GMT

microsoft and innovation

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 20:34:24 GMT

i think XPS is innovative.

while not an innovative product itself (being based on PDF and
office-xml formats) the truly innovative part is the initiative to
produce printers that can output XPS natively.

i have not seen any hardware pdf printers (and if there are, please hook
me up with a link so i can behold the future now) and it wouldn't be too
hard considering pdf is built off postscript capabilities.

as for the Xbox stuff, not a lot of new stuff there either as consoles
have been done before. i always liken it to the Dreamcast: windows
compatible out of the box, online gaming with match service,
downloadable content and homebrew ready (well okay DC wins hands down
here, part of its failure imho). i tell people that the Xbox360 is the
DC2 and outline the creepy similarities between the two, proof really
that MS hasn't done anything new in this dept.

but introducing points as online currency (and this ties into the zune
so slickly i wonder if it was a happy accident) to buy games and content
unlockers and even music, that's pretty genious. abstracting
international currency confusion - though many would believe the us
dollar is god here - is brilliant really. i can't buy anything off the
iTMS because apple doesn't recognise my CC and even though ZM doesn't
either, i can still go out and buy some prepaid points cards and i'm
good to go (ZM even works in Greece as one blogger noted; the same can't
be said about the iTMS). that's an innovative way of handling currency
problems even if that wasn't the genesis of the solution.

be honest, MSN only matters if you live in the US and don't already have
internet access, and IE... if it's working and you're in the lead, leave
it be. Firefox does not hold the monopoly on tabbed browsing and anyone
who thinks they invented it has serious RDF poisoning. all open source
software is still prone to flaws and exploits as we don't yet have
"machines making machines". and even then...

flickin up some flickr photos...

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 16:53:21 GMT

so with spaces being the way it is, what with resizing your images
undiscernibly and all, i decided to spark up a flickr account. flickr is
now my only reason for using any of my yahoo accounts as everything is
pretty much msn and gmail.

here's the link: http://flickr.com/photos/37756016@N00/

so far, the only thing up there is a bunch of better quality photos of
my zune trickery to date. expect some photos.

Photo Album: Blog Images

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 22:08:30 GMT

Blog Images

Photo Album: Blog Images

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 11:22:21 GMT

Blog Images

More Photos...

Photo Album: Idleness

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 14:15:02 GMT

Idleness

perfect buns

flat buns

shopping buns

upsized buns

Photo Album: DriveBy Photos

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 21:49:01 GMT

DriveBy Photos

alain - the self obsessed

Alicia taking a break

Beddoe

Bruce - no really...

Cara Suites Pool View - really need a better camera!!

Crystal gets caught

Diane finally gives up

Doro - of DoroDigital (http://geocities.com/dorodigital)

i swear i'm no good at this game..!

Father - caught in mid speech

More Photos...

Music List: New Stuff I'm Playing to Death

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 11:33:39 GMT

New Stuff I'm Playing to Death

Lacuna Coil: Angel's PunishmentComalies
Deftones: Battle-AxeDeftones
Deftones: Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) [Acoustic]B-Sides & Rarities Disc 1
Deftones: Bloody CapeDeftones
Lacuna Coil: Cold HeritageUnleashed Memories
Deftones: Crenshaw Punch/I'll Throw Rocks at YouB-Sides & Rarities Disc 1
Deftones: DeathblowDeftones
Lacuna Coil: EntwinedComalies
Cradle of Filth: GabrielleNymphetamine
Cradle of Filth: Gilded C***Nymphetamine
Lacuna Coil: Heaven's a LieComalies
Deftones: HexagramDeftones
Deftones: MinervaDeftones
Cradle of Filth: Nyphetamine (Overdose)Nymphetamine
Lacuna Coil: Our TruthKarmacode
Sepultura: Refuse/ResistChaos A.D.
Deftones: SavoryB-Sides & Rarities Disc 1
Lacuna Coil: SenzafineUnleashed Memories
Sepultura: Slave New WorldChaos A.D.
Lacuna Coil: SwampedComalies
Sepultura: TerritoryChaos A.D.
Lacuna Coil: The Prophet SaidComalies
Lacuna Coil: Tight RopeComalies

Custom List: Quick List

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 23:03:34 GMT

Quick List

Microsoft Media Center Infrared Remote Control
Perfect match for MCE
FUJIFILM FinePix S9000 Black 9.0 MP Digital Camera
i want this camera sooo bad!
ikyouCrow's Flickr Page
go here for future galleries, as Spaces kill pictures.
ikyouCrow's Deviations
me pretending to be an artist.

Music List: Will Never Get Tired Of...

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 21:54:02 GMT

Will Never Get Tired Of...

Lacuna Coil: Cold HeritageUnleashed Memories
Nevermore: No More WillDreaming Neon Black
Deftones: RX QueenWhite Pony

Music List: Listened to Death - 'cos I love 'em sooooo much

Sat, 07 May 2005 20:05:02 GMT

Listened to Death - 'cos I love 'em sooooo much

Deftones: Around the FurAround the Fur
Sybreed: DecoySlave Design
Cradle of Filth: GabrielleNymphetamine
A Perfect Circle: Gimme Gimme GimmeeMOTIVe
Bullet for My Valentine: Hand of BloodHand of Blood
Lacuna Coil: Our TruthKarmacode
KiTTie: Red FlagUntil The End
Bullet for My Valentine: Suffocating Under Words of SorrowThe Poison
Metallica: The Unnamed FeelingSt.Anger
Evanessance: TourniquetFallen
Zao: Truly, Truly, This is the EndThe Funeral of God